A definition of perfectionism: a personality trait characterized by a person’s striving for flawlessness and setting excessively high performance standards, accompanied by overly critical self-evaluations and concerns regarding others’ evaluations.
To a perfectionist, anything that’s less than perfect is unacceptable.
Perfectionism is often seen as a positive trait that increases your chances of success.
However, I feel like this is such a worldly view on this topic, a pitfall the devil loves to dig for us, especially for women, the Daughters of God. It has been an area in my life where the Lord has recently started speaking to me about.
Perfectionism is in fact a form of self-righteousness. A disillusioned belief that you can achieve these levels of perfect standards – be it in your own life, your work or your relationships. This striving inside you that you can perfect it all and in turn will have this sense of proper accomplishment and greater achievement. This belief and striving seeps into so many areas of our lives. But most importantly, I have learnt that this is how we then view and what we hold God to as well. And when things don’t always work out like we want, when we want or how we expected God to work them out for us, there is such a deep, deep feeling of disappointment in God and that He didn’t quite live up to our expectation, or how we best thought it should be and work out.
I have come to learn that I don’t have to be perfect in order for God to love me and ultimately use me. In fact I have quite recently learnt that even in our ‘weaker’, less desired or ‘less perfect’ state, or when we maybe feel far from God, when we maybe have not made as much time for Him in our lives and routines as we desire to (and as a mater of fact need to for our own benefit), He still loves us the same, He still uses us!! He still operates, speaks through and does through us.
This is not to say when we are feeling spiritually strong, and have been in His renewing word and presence every single day of the week that God willuse us less, but it is actually just a rest, knowing that He longs to use us, in whatever season, or “less perfect space” we find ourselves in, as long as our hearts and wills are open and surrendered to Him. We might change and go through things, but He is constant. His word says that He is the same yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews 13:8). That means He never changes His mind about us, His gifts are irrevocable – it doesn’t depend on us being perfect in order to operate in them – HE perfects them and His Holy Spirit outworks them through us in our simple, humble openness.
We can never, ever be perfect, we will ALWAYS fall short, but there is ONE Who IS perfect!! One Who never missed, and will never miss the mark. One Who stood in our place, took ALL of our imperfections upon Himself and now stands in our place, constantly interceding (praying on our behalf) at the right hand of the Father.
So why do we need to strive to be these perfect versions of ourselves? He loves us as we are and He died for us as HE KNEW we were thousands of years ago!
Why do we place such immense pressure on ourselves, and even so on the people around us to achieve and live up to these crazy standards?!
By doing this, we make ourselves stressed, anxious, and even depressed. It can lead to mental health issues and even make loved ones around us feel inadequate and alienated from us.
Striving for perfection comes out of feelings of inadequacy or even failure. But the word says that we are more than conquerors THROUGH HIM WHO LOVES US!! (Romans 8:37).
We ARE winners, we ARE victorious, all because of our Champion of Heaven – our most precious Jesus!!
We also limit God if we have a set of standards and specific ways on how we feel God needs to do something for us. Maybe He wants to bless us in a whole different way, but because we are so fixed on a specific “perfect” process and / or outcome, we miss the beauty and the splendor in what He wants to do, teach or grow us in, in the process and what HE wants the end result to look like. The Bible says that HIS plans and WAYS are PERFECT (Psalm 18:30), His ways are higher than ours (Isaiah 55:8-9: “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so My ways are higher than your ways and My thoughts higher than your thoughts.”)
In other words what He wants for us is far greater than what we want. His dreams for us are far greater than our dreams. So why do I want to fit all these things and people into my ‘perfect little box of standards and ways’ if His is so much better and ALL JUST BECAUSE HE LOVES ME.
But if we look at ourselves and others around us through this grace-filled revelation and the beautiful, graceful eyes of Jesus, we can have grace for ourselves and for those around us.
I want to encourage us ladies in this today. We put so, so much pressure on ourselves, on our spouses, our children, our friends and family members to live up to these incredibly high standards that are so unreasonable and more so unattainable and unachievable.
Let’s make room in our hearts, in our thoughts, in our actions and our speech; in our routines and relationships for THE Perfecter to come in. Let’s allow Him to move in our midst and surrender all of our striving to Him, Who is the actual perfecter of our Faith (Hebrews 12:2 – “fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith).
It is also HIS anointing IN us that, so to say puts the stamp of approval and completion on everything, and so when WE try to attain or fulfill this or stand in that place, by our self efforts in the strive for perfection, we actually remove Him, we say to Him ‘step aside Jesus’ and we don’t allow HIS ANOINTING to flow in and over our tasks, activities, speech and relationships.
I love this translation of Hebrews 12:2 in the Passion Bible – “We look away from the natural realm and we fasten our gaze onto Jesus who birthed faith within us and Who leads us forward into faith’s perfection. His example is this: Because His heart was focused on the joy of knowing that you would be His, He endured the agony of the cross and conquered its humiliation, and now sits exalted at the right hand of the throne of God!”
All that matters to Him is that you are His! That He has your heart and adoration; for He does the work in and through us. And He longs for us to just trust Him in this area – that HE WILL PERFECT everything we touch and do, pray and speak, His word promises this to us. It is just a trusting and a resting in Him and His anointing to finish the work He started in us. So be set free from this striving and performance, Daughters, in Jesus Name!
He longs to and is willing to use you, even though you are not perfect. That’s the beauty of grace!!! It is His grace that is sufficient and His power made perfect in our weakness, when we stop striving and performing. (My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is perfected in weakness – 2 Corinthians 12:9).
And in this our beautiful Jesus gets ALL the glory! Glory He so rightfully deserves, and not us.
Philippians 1:6 – “being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to {perfect} completion until the day of Christ Jesus”.
In all my imperfect love, yet His perfect love
Zee
