You can’t think yourself out of condemnation, you need to speak yourself out of shame and condemnation – speak Grace over yourself. We can’t begin to have grace for others until we receive grace for ourselves. In moments where you felt you fell short or didn’t say enough or maybe didn’t say the right thin. I often leave conversations and even when I speak somewhere or preach, I step off saying “I am righteous in Christ Jesus, Your grace covers me!” What is so interesting is that it almost immediately shifts my focus off myself back on to JESUS! Not the lack or falling short or on my feelings and what others may think, but JESUS!
It is important we hear ourselves SPEAK that OUT loud so we can hear it, because the bible tell us that in Romans 10:17 So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.
We need to speak God’s word and it should be a constant confession we say over ourselves – we need to speak Grace. It is by His Grace and unmerited favor that we deserve this, not by our right doing but by HIS right doing. When we receive His Grace for ourselves we are enabled to have grace for others especially our loved ones. The more I do this over myself the more I find myself speaking grace over my husband and children. Where we show and speak grace we actually create a safe and loving environment for our loved ones.
Unfortunately, I learnt this the hard way. I had this thing with my husband, where I longed for him to do all the quality time stuff a girl would want especially when that’s her love language, but found myself feeling rejected every time he fell short, which resulted in me feeling let down by him. But God showed me, I was actually nailing my husband’s shortcomings to the law, every time he fell short of my expectations, I judged him. Which resulted in him pulling away even more into the things I resented him for. It became a vicious cycle.
So God revealed to me, I was speaking judgement and law over my husband. But how could this be? If I believe Grace and sit under Grace teachings!!! Well yes, even if you hear Grace you can still choose to speak law! Speaking is where we activate what we believe and what we have heard. But that takes FAITH!! Ephesians 2:8-9 (NKJV) For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.
So I believed Grace but I had no faith to believe Grace for my husband and for God to do a work in him. It required me recognizing what I was doing and deciding to stop focusing on what I saw in the flesh and choose to see what I saw in faith and speak that out! I kept thinking ‘do I want to create a safe place for the ones I love where they can be themselves – flaws and all?’. Yes! I truly did with everything in my heart! By FAITH!
So God has had me on this journey about creating a safe place and a loving environment. So date night came, and being a quality time girl, I was in my happy space! Sitting on a one-on-one date in a nice restaurant… until my husband brought the phone out… My heart sank because I felt he was not being intentional now!!! But what is my response… do I judge him and throw a huff and loose the safe and loving environment I so want for him because he went on his phone? So I excused myself, went to the restroom and had a chat with my ABBA. I declared ‘Lord this is Your Son – You deal with Him. I choose to see Him in Grace and will show and speak grace over him in spite of his falling short in my eyes’ and declared him righteous and so loved by Abba! Something very funny happened after I returned to the table and continued to enjoy myself, relaxed and full of grace. The waiter came to the table and said ‘Sir please can you get OFF your phone, phones are not allowed when you are on a date here’. Immediately he put his phone down and was so apologetic and really didn’t mean to be disengaged. I had a little giggle to myself, because God is good and moves when we just stay out the way and in our lane which is speaking grace and showing LOVE.
It was by speaking grace to my husband and speaking grace over him even when he didn’t deserve it! That requires FAITH!! Because I couldn’t see a change, I didn’t feel he was hearing or seeing me, but Jesus! Hebrew 11:1 (NKJV) Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
The radical change that came in our marriage has been nothing short of miraculous. KEEP choosing to speak grace in Faith and watch God move!! Release your loved ones into God’s righteous right hand. He is the One who made them, He surely knows how to fix them. Even when you can’t see it and even if you can’t feel it, speak grace over them by faith.
I also learnt our job isn’t to fix but to love! Not to judge but to pray and to speak grace!
Do this for yourself first, and you will be free to and able to do this for your loved ones also even when it’s undeserving. But it starts with you receiving first.
You are righteous in Christ Jesus! You are loved and chosen in spite of you falling short at times. Jesus paid it ALL for you to walk and fulfill your purpose, to enjoy your relationships, to enjoy what you do and not over think and condemn. Walk in righteousness and speak righteousness by FAITH! START to confess that you are righteous in Christ Jesus before you leave the house for the day; when you feel nervous; when you feel like you fell short!
Declare you are His beloved daughter, righteous in Christ Jesus and see your loved ones in their righteousness in Christ also.
CONFESS “I am righteous in Christ Jesus” speak it often!